Time Management

The way my life has been going the last couple of months leaves very little free time for myself, which leaves me very exhausted (or maybe just overwhelmed).

I generally am home Monday thru Thursday nights, because I work Tuesday thru Friday. Because my boss is a mega-douche, I work 7AM – 3PM on three of those days. That’s not the douchey part. The douchey part is Wednesday. On Wednesday, I work 3PM to 11PM. Which means I get barely any sleep before I have to be back at work at 7AM on Thursday. Which means I usually pass out super early on Thursday evening. So, that leaves pretty much Monday and Tuesday evening for anything “productive.” Or for socializing outside my “boyfriend circle.”

My “boyfriend circle” is how I refer to the people who I actually socialize with when the boyfriend is around. These people include the fam, the bar crowd, and a few select friends. They aren’t any more or less important than those outside the circle. They’re just more “boyfriend-appropriate.” Those outside the circle? Oh, about 90% of my friends – generally geeks, gamers, and others that the boyfriend would have nothing in common with, along with a few of my guy friends.

My point being that I end up trying to squeeze the majority of my life into about two days a week, because my weekends are pretty much boyfriend-exclusive no matter which part of the state we’re in. It’s a new relationship and we don’t see one another as often as we would like. What else might you expect?

I need better time management skills, but honestly, in my meager spare time, the last thing I want to do is manage anything. I mostly want to veg out and surf the internet while watching my pups chase each other in circles. And sometimes, that even seems like too much. Sometimes, I just want sleep.

This is not to say that I don’t get anything done. I clean and do laundry. And I bake. I bake a lot, actually. And this might even be blogworthy (especially The Weekend of 1000 Cupcakes), but I never remember to take photos or document the process or even make note of my recipe tweaks. I should do that.

So yeah, obvious need for some time management here, as much as I hate the thought. Currently, I’m waiting for the next two parts to KylaRoma’s Custom Day Planner Tutorial, because it looks like the perfect jumping off point for solving my time management woes. I’m also looking at a few other DIY planner projects around the web, because the pre-made ones just never quite seem right.

Once the planner is done, I’m going to start piecing together a recipe book, which will probably ultimately just be a 3-ring binder filled with the recipes I use most often (usually cake/cupcakes). I just haven’t found the time/energy/will to actually sit down and do it.

It’s possible that I have ADD, but that’s a story for another day.

The last crack.

This post has been brewing in the back of my mind since I re-started this blog. Something I have wanted to talk about so badly, yet haven't wanted to talk about at all. I know that makes no sense. I suppose the reason for that is that I should probably talking about it with the person who it directly concerns. Only we're not speaking. And I don't know if I want to change that. I waffled about this post. Decided I was going to post it, decided I wouldn’t, and then back again. Asked for advice, rejected the advice, reconsidered the advice.

Ultimately, it comes down to this. Some people move on and some of us ride the drama llama until it falls over dead. And while I wish I could really just move the fuck on, I am really more the second type. And so it goes.

Also, this belongs in my Thirty Days of Truth, but I don't know if I should label it "something I need to forgive myself for" or "something I need to forgive someone else for." So I'm using it as both. Because I do what I want.

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2011: My next great adventure.

I did not make a "resolution" for this new year. I set a theme. Truth. I intend for that theme to permeate my thoughts and actions through this year, and hopefully through those that follow as well. I am never as honest as I should be. Especially not with myself. (And yet, I have an oversharing problem! Odd.)

There are a lot of things I want to talk about, but firstly, why have I been MIA so often lately?

The simplest truth is that I was dating two boys. It is more complicated than that, and maybe not as bad as it sounds, but details are messy so I will just leave it simply at that.

I was dating two boys and it was taking a lot of time and effort on my part. Mostly because one of them lives over three hours away. I was tired and I was stressed and I was generally unhappy with the situation. And, of course, they were too. Or one of them was.

But I'm horrible at making decisions. Because OMG, what if I choose the wrong one?! What if this one decision sends my life hurtling into unalterable ruination?! Whatifwhatifwhatif. And so, I prolonged the agony, basically dragging myself and these men through hell. Or at least tormenting us all unnecessarily.

Eventually, we reached a point where I was seeing one of them a lot more than the other. And the one I was seeing most was the one that lived farthest away. And that pretty much said more than words could.

We were spending long weekends together. Holidays. Christmas AND New Year's Eve. He'd met my mom and grandmother. Drove me to the hospital when my grandfather was rushed to the ER with pneumonia. I'd met most of his family. This wasn't casual anymore and there was no point denying it.

And yesterday, Jailbait and I called it quits so that I can freely be with a man who may be just a little more right for me.

He's twenty-six, from South Louisiana, and in the middle of a fairly messy divorce. (Bring on the judgment if you like, but that home was wrecked long before we met. And I still had reservations about even being friends with him because he was married. Wait. Why am I trying to justify this? Yes, I am involved with a married man and that is wrong. I should be punished.) He has a gorgeous smile. I think that's what really got me.

We met at work. One tends to meet a lot of people in the hospitality industry, especially working the hours I was working at the time (seven days a week). I checked him in and was not even particularly nice to him, but the next morning he kept finding excuses to come to the lobby, and then he would find excuses to come talk to me. And in the eight days that he stayed here (he was in town for work), something developed. That was six weeks ago. We've been together at least one day a week since then - usually three or four.

He is not perfect. He is simply a good man. He has a good heart. He has the best intentions. He has not always done the smart thing or the right thing. He has made mistakes. Most importantly, he has learned from them. He has strong hands, blue eyes, and a Cajun accent. He is nothing that I thought I wanted, and maybe exactly what I need.

I am not making predictions, or even wishes. I am not shouting anything from the rooftops (though I may sometimes gush on Twitter). I am simply going with the flow. Que será, será.

But it's an adventure, this not knowing.

Happy Holidays!

I know I have been quite (in)conspicuously absent recently, but it’s been busy around here what with the holidays and the leading of a double life and all.

It is so much easier to keep my mouth shut than to bother sorting out what I should and shouldn’t say. And so I do. But that is not to last for long, because I do plan to start 2011 with a heaping plateful of truth.

But I still have a few days of 2010 left in which to enjoy secrets and lies and my busy, busy double life.

For the record, no, I have not become a secret agent. But it’s a damned shame. All of my talents are being wasted with this hotel business.

Change is coming. I can taste it on the air.

And so, I bid you happy holidays and the warmest of wishes for the new year from myself and the two furballs at my feet.

Family.

Tons of things I’ve been meaning to post about over the last couple of weeks, but I’m a procrastinator was busy. You know, with that life thing I was referring to in my previous post.

If it hasn’t been made clear from the (meager) content of this blog, I am single and without children. Human children, that is. But, for as long as I can remember, I have always had canine children – my furbabies. I find it very hard to be without a dog in the house. Almost unnatural. They are man’s best friend, after all. Woman’s too.

 

    

Meet Turbo. Turbo is my gorgeous two year old Pomeranian. I “rescued” him from my brother about a year ago, after my nephew was born. (They had three dogs in the house and it was just too much with a new baby.) He’s a bit neurotic and has some separation anxiety issues, but he is such a joy to have in my life. Very smart, and generally very calm – especially for a “toy” breed. He is very much my dog. I live with my dad, and he has very, very little to do with him or anyone else who enters the house unless I’m not here. In fact, when I’m working and my dad is home, he tends to banish himself to his crate until I do come home.

I recently decided that Turbo needs canine company, because prior to moving in here in July, Turbo had always been around other dogs. I’m sure he’s content to be the only dog in the house, but I felt that companionship might be welcome. And this was pretty lucky since he sired a litter of pups in November and the owner of the bitch was ready to start getting the pups out of her house (at only five weeks old – not the greatest idea, but that’s for another time). So last week, we welcomed home the newest addition to our family.

Meet Riot! He’s a tiny little bundle of fluff with a rapidly developing personality. He’s adorable and so fluffy that I might just die from the overwhelming cute overload!

I’m afraid he may have developmental problems and separation anxiety from being taken away from his mother and his litter so early (it is recommended that toy breeds not be separated from the mother earlier than ten weeks), but nothing has manifested yet. He whines when he’s hungry and when he wants attention. He doesn’t make much complaint about sleeping in the crate at night or when I’m not home. He’s got the makings of a good little pup.

I can’t wait to see how he grows and develops. It really is like watching a child develop as his personality emerges complete with quirks and eccentricities.

Unfortunately, Turbo is terrified of him. I’ve never seen him shy away from another dog, but he runs from Riot when he attempts to play. I’m really starting to wonder if Turbo realizes he’s actually a dog. It’s possible he thinks he’s some type of rodent. Maybe as he gets bigger, Turbo will be more comfortable with him.

Don’t give up on me.

I’ve been busy lately, and for once, it has been less about work and more about life. And changing and growing and learning and knowing and things that are new. And people that are new. Things that may be right and good, but feel wrong, so how do you really know unless you make a leap of faith?

One day, I’ll be able to tell you about these things in a less vague and ramble-y sort of way, but until then, you will just have to trust me when I say that I am embarking on my next great adventure and it is so good.

I’m starting to get regular days off at work again and am slowly rediscovering my social life. And my love of Crown Royal. (Stop judging. I earned this.) I just spent two days indulging in sloth and fun and alcohol and fantastic food that I did not have to cook or clean up.  I can’t say more than that right now, and it pains me.

Why all the “secrecy”? Really not much of a secret. Pretty much everyone knows who I was with and where I was and what went down, but I find that dwelling on things too much tends to jinx them. So, this is officially a No Dwelling Zone. For the time being anyway.

Besides, I have a lot to figure out and someone’s going to get hurt, but at least all involved are aware of the potential for intense emotional trauma. So nobody can say that they weren’t warned or were caught unawares or any of that nonsense.

If there’s one thing I can say about myself, it’s that my Crazy is always on prominent display. So no one can blame me when they end up embroiled in drama and intense emotional turmoil. Or they can. But they’ll just look stupid. Because, hello? You were fucking warned.

Downtime.

Finally! I got two consecutive days off. Shocker, I know. This, unfortunately, has not lead to an excess of downtime. I still have a lot of demands on my time.

I spent a few days after work visiting with my brother, sister-in-law, and nephew. While visiting with my brother is not always a joy, his son is such adorable perfection. It is so amazing to see his personality developing. I wish I were able to spend more time with him. I had not seen him since January and had missed many of his little developments. He crawls and talks and is nearly walking. He has a fairly extensive vocabulary for such a young tike, though some of the words he’s picked up from my brother are less than appropriate. Favorites include “ass” and “boobies.” My sister-in-law will have him fit to appear in public again soon enough, I imagine.

They left to head back to Texas on Friday, leaving all of my spare time to the boyface. Nothing very interesting to report there. Just spent time being together, watching movies, etc.

I went on a bit of a baking spree just prior to Thanksgiving. Made a batch of Black Bottom Cupcakes and some pumpkin pies. Still have much baking planned, but my ambition ran out quicker than I expected. When I bake again, I will attempt to take photos and share the recipes. I plan to do a bit of tweaking next time. Perhaps I shall bake again tonight. Perhaps not.

Just bought a new batch of soaps from Geeky Clean’s  Cyber Monday sale. Can’t wait for them to arrive. This time, I purchased the Light-Up d20, Browncoat Field Ration, Boba Feet Foot Scrub, and Scrubasaurus Rex (in T-Rex). Cannot wait to be all geeky clean!

I have some shopping to do and need to get my oil changed today, so I shall keep this short and sweet.