I much prefer my virtual reality.

I’ve gotten excited about a lot of things lately, but have followed through with pretty much nothing. Most notable of these things? I finally got into a Beta Event for Rift: Planes of Telara. I’ve been super excited about this game since a friend first introduced me to it when it was merely a blip on the horizon (pre-beta, obvs). It’s been in Beta since November-ish, but I haven’t been very aggressive about trying to obtain a beta invite because it went into Beta right about the time that I met the boyfriend.

So I finally got a beta invitation, and what happens? My stupid satellite internet has thwarted all plans for gameplay. The Beta Event is over tomorrow, and I still haven’t managed to get the game fully downloaded and patched. It’s a 7+GB file, so yeah. I really should have just left my laptop at a friend’s house and let the file finish downloading and patching over the course of a night. But I haven’t really had the time to go to a friend’s place and leave my computer. Nor am I willing to be parted for my baby for any period of time.

Why is it even necessary for me to leave my computer elsewhere? Obviously you are not acquainted with HughesNet and the devilish tease that they call highspeed internet*. You see, when you live in the middle of nowhere, satellite internet is your only option. And they know it. And so they do horrid things to you like implementing download allowances. So, suffice it to say that my internet would crap out completely well before this file was even 1/4 through the download.

So, yes. My inner geek is in serious pain. No Beta Event for me. But I won’t stop trying. I need Rift in my life.

What did I do today?

Work. Oh, and completely dismantled the receiver/DVD player for our Home Theater System. A few weeks ago, it ate my brand new Inception DVD. Would NOT eject it. Would not play it. My mad google-fu produced only one solution. Take it apart. And so I did. And put it back together. Correctly, even. Yeah, I’m shocked, too. Surround sound is still on the fritz though, so we’re getting a new one anyway. Putting the stupid thing back together was kind of  waste. Not that it matters. I wanted a new one anyway. My mad google-fu also produced many negative reviews of that particular product.

What else? Nothing important.

I am carefully considering my final votes for the 20sb Bootleg Awards, and will likely be casting my votes before bed tonight. Not that it matters, but it’s fun.

I’m going to actually sit down and formulate a real post at some point. Maybe. I don’t know. I’ll think about it tomorrow.

*Yes, I really do hate HughesNet that much. If you intend to do anything other than surf randomly, it’s not for you. SERIOUSLY not for you. The download allowances are kind of pitiful.

Pardon the Dust.

I’m currently working on “redesigning” How Everybody Gets Found. There will be clutter and brokenness.

In the meantime, you may e-mail me at hilary@getting-found.com.

Time Management

The way my life has been going the last couple of months leaves very little free time for myself, which leaves me very exhausted (or maybe just overwhelmed).

I generally am home Monday thru Thursday nights, because I work Tuesday thru Friday. Because my boss is a mega-douche, I work 7AM – 3PM on three of those days. That’s not the douchey part. The douchey part is Wednesday. On Wednesday, I work 3PM to 11PM. Which means I get barely any sleep before I have to be back at work at 7AM on Thursday. Which means I usually pass out super early on Thursday evening. So, that leaves pretty much Monday and Tuesday evening for anything “productive.” Or for socializing outside my “boyfriend circle.”

My “boyfriend circle” is how I refer to the people who I actually socialize with when the boyfriend is around. These people include the fam, the bar crowd, and a few select friends. They aren’t any more or less important than those outside the circle. They’re just more “boyfriend-appropriate.” Those outside the circle? Oh, about 90% of my friends – generally geeks, gamers, and others that the boyfriend would have nothing in common with, along with a few of my guy friends.

My point being that I end up trying to squeeze the majority of my life into about two days a week, because my weekends are pretty much boyfriend-exclusive no matter which part of the state we’re in. It’s a new relationship and we don’t see one another as often as we would like. What else might you expect?

I need better time management skills, but honestly, in my meager spare time, the last thing I want to do is manage anything. I mostly want to veg out and surf the internet while watching my pups chase each other in circles. And sometimes, that even seems like too much. Sometimes, I just want sleep.

This is not to say that I don’t get anything done. I clean and do laundry. And I bake. I bake a lot, actually. And this might even be blogworthy (especially The Weekend of 1000 Cupcakes), but I never remember to take photos or document the process or even make note of my recipe tweaks. I should do that.

So yeah, obvious need for some time management here, as much as I hate the thought. Currently, I’m waiting for the next two parts to KylaRoma’s Custom Day Planner Tutorial, because it looks like the perfect jumping off point for solving my time management woes. I’m also looking at a few other DIY planner projects around the web, because the pre-made ones just never quite seem right.

Once the planner is done, I’m going to start piecing together a recipe book, which will probably ultimately just be a 3-ring binder filled with the recipes I use most often (usually cake/cupcakes). I just haven’t found the time/energy/will to actually sit down and do it.

It’s possible that I have ADD, but that’s a story for another day.

The last crack.

This post has been brewing in the back of my mind since I re-started this blog. Something I have wanted to talk about so badly, yet haven't wanted to talk about at all. I know that makes no sense. I suppose the reason for that is that I should probably talking about it with the person who it directly concerns. Only we're not speaking. And I don't know if I want to change that. I waffled about this post. Decided I was going to post it, decided I wouldn’t, and then back again. Asked for advice, rejected the advice, reconsidered the advice.

Ultimately, it comes down to this. Some people move on and some of us ride the drama llama until it falls over dead. And while I wish I could really just move the fuck on, I am really more the second type. And so it goes.

Also, this belongs in my Thirty Days of Truth, but I don't know if I should label it "something I need to forgive myself for" or "something I need to forgive someone else for." So I'm using it as both. Because I do what I want.

Read more »

2011: My next great adventure.

I did not make a "resolution" for this new year. I set a theme. Truth. I intend for that theme to permeate my thoughts and actions through this year, and hopefully through those that follow as well. I am never as honest as I should be. Especially not with myself. (And yet, I have an oversharing problem! Odd.)

There are a lot of things I want to talk about, but firstly, why have I been MIA so often lately?

The simplest truth is that I was dating two boys. It is more complicated than that, and maybe not as bad as it sounds, but details are messy so I will just leave it simply at that.

I was dating two boys and it was taking a lot of time and effort on my part. Mostly because one of them lives over three hours away. I was tired and I was stressed and I was generally unhappy with the situation. And, of course, they were too. Or one of them was.

But I'm horrible at making decisions. Because OMG, what if I choose the wrong one?! What if this one decision sends my life hurtling into unalterable ruination?! Whatifwhatifwhatif. And so, I prolonged the agony, basically dragging myself and these men through hell. Or at least tormenting us all unnecessarily.

Eventually, we reached a point where I was seeing one of them a lot more than the other. And the one I was seeing most was the one that lived farthest away. And that pretty much said more than words could.

We were spending long weekends together. Holidays. Christmas AND New Year's Eve. He'd met my mom and grandmother. Drove me to the hospital when my grandfather was rushed to the ER with pneumonia. I'd met most of his family. This wasn't casual anymore and there was no point denying it.

And yesterday, Jailbait and I called it quits so that I can freely be with a man who may be just a little more right for me.

He's twenty-six, from South Louisiana, and in the middle of a fairly messy divorce. (Bring on the judgment if you like, but that home was wrecked long before we met. And I still had reservations about even being friends with him because he was married. Wait. Why am I trying to justify this? Yes, I am involved with a married man and that is wrong. I should be punished.) He has a gorgeous smile. I think that's what really got me.

We met at work. One tends to meet a lot of people in the hospitality industry, especially working the hours I was working at the time (seven days a week). I checked him in and was not even particularly nice to him, but the next morning he kept finding excuses to come to the lobby, and then he would find excuses to come talk to me. And in the eight days that he stayed here (he was in town for work), something developed. That was six weeks ago. We've been together at least one day a week since then - usually three or four.

He is not perfect. He is simply a good man. He has a good heart. He has the best intentions. He has not always done the smart thing or the right thing. He has made mistakes. Most importantly, he has learned from them. He has strong hands, blue eyes, and a Cajun accent. He is nothing that I thought I wanted, and maybe exactly what I need.

I am not making predictions, or even wishes. I am not shouting anything from the rooftops (though I may sometimes gush on Twitter). I am simply going with the flow. Que será, será.

But it's an adventure, this not knowing.